Advantage, Kim

We're all right, Jackasses, says North Korea;

North Korea has "the world's most advantageous human rights system," the country declared in a lengthy report released on Saturday.

Its political system "bestows upon (its citizens) priceless political integrity." Its economic system "ensures people an independent and creative working life, as well as affluent and civilized living standard," according to a report by the DPRK Association for Human Rights Studies.

That's Kim Jong Un's response to the United Nation's recent report that said North Korea isn't even a nice to place to visit...and if you have to live there....

The U.N. Commission of Inquiry issued its conclusions after listening to testimonies from more than 100 victims, witnesses and experts regarding North Korea. It also examined satellite imagery and listed a stunning catalog of torture and widespread abuse "that does not have any parallel in the contemporary world."

Of course, Dennis Rodman's best friend wasn't going to take that lying down;

Divided into five chapters, North Korea says its report was derived from institutions, NGOs and human rights experts.

"The human rights mechanisms of the DPRK which have been formed and developed in the 70-year-long history is a superior system that thoroughly and practically guarantees the people's human rights in all fields of social life including politics, economy and culture," according to the report.

It made no mention of its prison system, executions or food shortages. Instead, the report trumpeted its policies of "universal compulsory education, free medical care and free provision of housings."

In case the denizens of Maxspeak were reading.